Cruel Life

Remember the fear, sadness, insecurity The hidden world of nascent pictures What do they reveal now? My talent matured, ever the taskmaster prodigious I search for a whole new world… I appear put together, confident, content Though a beacon of cheer for those who cross my path, A temporary reprieve from the internal chaos The truth – I’m crumbled with unfulfilled longing My sadness still bleeds from internal cuts… How ironic the pictures shine brighter now Creating masterpieces effortlessly, They garner unadulterated amazement from viewers Wooing the world as I do, who will woo me? Advertisements Continue reading Cruel Life

Fixable?

Out of sight, out of mind Yes, I’m terrible Too easily I forget How much do I care? I know you do, deeply You won’t let me go, yes But you can no longer be there for me Not in the same way  You’re no longer here Gone off to your next chapter My new chapter begins too Though a loner once again Surrounded with people Meeting new folk all the time Running the club you passed on No shortage of activities and plans I organize it well, adhere to your ideals I have a purpose, a mission to propagate … Continue reading Fixable?

Ongoing State

I have been conditioned to feel unwanted My insecurities from long ago hold fast I retreat into myself and mark myself a loner Apart from close friends company joy is erased I’ve accepted my lonely state I cannot foresee a shift from permanent status quo No longer sad exactly just emotionless blasé It could be worse I realize: The harrowing rejection felt after invested and tricked I understand others couple up, others are wooed and happy This is not for me; my path is different A plethora of activities seeking meaning My confounded journey continues… Continue reading Ongoing State

Loner

It’s interesting how: Some people maintain close clusters of friends From school days, high school or college They do everything together Shop, eat out, go for drinks, travel etc. I don’t belong The irony is that I get along with most everybody Young and old, guys and gals  Other personalities clash They confide in me The old high school friends, it’s rare I see There was a sort of group I vaguely belonged But I never conceded it fully; I kept myself apart I felt to embrace them would make me dishonest For I didn’t truly belong But maybe I … Continue reading Loner