Fixable?

Out of sight, out of mind Yes, I’m terrible Too easily I forget How much do I care? I know you do, deeply You won’t let me go, yes But you can no longer be there for me Not in the same way  You’re no longer here Gone off to your next chapter My new chapter begins too Though a loner once again Surrounded with people Meeting new folk all the time Running the club you passed on No shortage of activities and plans I organize it well, adhere to your ideals I have a purpose, a mission to propagate … Continue reading Fixable?

Best Friend

I found a real best friend You talk to me everyday, make time to see me  You travel with me and say I’m fun to be with You’re not just made up of good intentions You follow through on everything you say You know when to push me and when to coddle  You’ve breathed life into me where there was just sadness You support me fully in everything I do, given me new purpose You’ve said you got my back, and you really do! You don’t judge me; you’ve changed my life Thank you Continue reading Best Friend

Pygmalion

Pygmalion, Pygmalion mold me Tell me how to act and present myself Invalidate my feelings, my beliefs and opinions Impose your own draconian rule in my life I cannot know what is right; I lack judgement Destroy my privacy, my peace of mind Stress me out anew so you feel heard I am incapable of leading my own life I should feel guilty and ashamed for attempting My optimistic impressions of people are misguided My gut and instincts have led me astray Doesn’t matter how much I’ve learned and grown I could have avoided my hard won independence in the … Continue reading Pygmalion

Un-Disowned

Time to pay a joint bill I kept my distance in the meantime They chewed me anew once more How long till the next blow out? There is no more travel currently scheduled… But that changes in a heartbeat whence I decide According to them all my resources should be to find a husband They hatch pathetic plans… Fuuuuck… Leave me alone! Your aim is to perpetually stunt my development; to control me The cord is cut; can’t be reattached  My artistic pursuits and friends matter I still live nearby for now… You don’t seem to realize that when it’s … Continue reading Un-Disowned

Disowned

How can you disown your child? For no real sin My transgression was the simple act of travel, that is all Visiting different cities, different countries They staged an intervention a week ago They were shockingly furious  Called me a punk, a hooligan Told me to stop wasting my own money All for engaging in unadulterated travel  There was no funny business at all Driving to New Hampshire with my friend Taking the Megabus to Toronto too Next trip is set for Oslo, Norway in mere days Their intervention didn’t work Through my sister I received the missive Don’t come … Continue reading Disowned

Wayside

I won’t ask you to choose; I step aside How deep does the friendship even go? I don’t trust anyone to stay or take my side My heart is a ghost town no longer capable of love My mantra: Out of sight out of mind I am unbearably needy and insecure I only know how to be alone  Why ever get close? But I forget myself, I slip up and do Then I bang my head in horror  And I have to back away This relentless back and forth tears me up inside No one can give me what I … Continue reading Wayside

Travel Here And Now

Travel the world and the seven seas… Changing directions, changing focus No more online dating; froze it Couldn’t quite delete it Save the messages, suspended in precious time capsule Separate conscious self from inner being Revamp my core standards No more intimacy before exclusivity Three mistakes is enough I’m going to spend all my money on me! Chicago, Catalina Island, Greece complete New Hampshire, Norway, Thailand to be Funds are noticeably dwindling now But my devil-may-care attitude screams continue! We are just getting started… Continue reading Travel Here And Now

Immeasurable Hurt

A permanent feeling of being unwanted  The lonely pangs have resurfaced… Tear stained face, heaving shuddering breaths No romantic prospects Doors, windows, trap doors All slammed shut and sealed No one can help me from my suffering Old friends, new friends, family alike  Talking to them doesn’t help Shame to have their love but feel this way No option but to withdraw into myself Constant rejection has scarred me I am not the happy person I once knew Those distant memories are like a dream Locked away in shyness, I had hope  When I broke free all would be well … Continue reading Immeasurable Hurt