Disowned

How can you disown your child? For no real sin My transgression was the simple act of travel, that is all Visiting different cities, different countries They staged an intervention a week ago They were shockingly furious  Called me a punk, a hooligan Told me to stop wasting my own money All for engaging in unadulterated travel  There was no funny business at all Driving to New Hampshire with my friend Taking the Megabus to Toronto too Next trip is set for Oslo, Norway in mere days Their intervention didn’t work Through my sister I received the missive Don’t come … Continue reading Disowned

Muted Sadness

So close to feeling nothing Like a disconnected emotion Acute detachment Almost a hate, a scorn of others Fully receded into my shell I don’t want nor need anybody Time has severed close connections To the point where I resent seeing them I go through the motions Sitting at a table, eating and drinking Laughing at appropriate junctures But I don’t want to be there Our lives no longer really intersect I have nothing to contribute  You all are married or getting married Getting new jobs and promotions Yes, I can talk about my artistic pursuits But I don’t want … Continue reading Muted Sadness

End of Summer

My hair grows longer and curlier The weather is shifting from unbearable heat  The first cool breezes reminiscent of early fall have begun How will the last remaining month of summer end? A lot has happened since spring arrived Three months ago I had no concept on how to be an exhibiting artist I enrolled in this photo class I blindly invited people to a class’ end showcase without having any idea I stressed and agonized for weeks I finally traveled solo and got great shots Time still raced to fight to prepare successfully, and I have It’s late but … Continue reading End of Summer

Photo Show

I’ve chewed my nail to the quick, one so far The stress of preparing, I’m a child again biting my nails Ten weeks of class have flown by Merely days remain for our solo and group show My favorite shots selected, spending a small fortune  Printing and reprinting to get the optimal look Struggling with nonexistent photoshop skills, (I’ve never used it before!) Uncertain toiling has born fruit, now I am soothed; I feel ready to display my work A natural high for six hours will commence 3.5 for setup, 2 for event, .5 for cleanup It will feel like … Continue reading Photo Show

Original Forsaker

Spending my money on the fanciest of restaurants  I’ve tasted the food of Michelin stars Traveling here and there too Can’t escape the clutches of the past  Still haunted by images Old visions that didn’t materialize The original one to forsake me Who should have been my one and only My knight in shining armor We had such an intense connection… My sister gave me a keepsake to help find the one Remarkably, the next day our paths crossed on the street again It felt like you were still into me I was a cool cucumber but pleasant enough I … Continue reading Original Forsaker

Bridge Crossing

Maniacal train screeching by Hot and sticky sweaty droplets Rain outside, melancholy inside Another day, another class More boredom, a few nuggets learned We had a field trip I did not enjoy We walked the Brooklyn Bridge It had been a year I last visited A very different time Hopeful, happy, with special company Now dispirited, forlorn amidst a disjointed group Led by a joyful, wacky, lovable instructor That’s something at least Always good to make the acquaintance of such a fun person I was glad when we got off and walked the few blocks to the waterfront My camera … Continue reading Bridge Crossing

Another Dead-end

What to do when you’re sad? Aimlessly wander the Rubin Museum Looking at strange Himalayan masks, tapestries, knickknacks It’s free, was on the list to do, now it’s done Keep wandering until the sadness lifts Another foolish dead-end This one a Nigerian scam – Good grief! It’s not enough they randomly spam your email Getting more personalized and complex  Finding you on a dating site Concocting stories  I did suspect it might not be kosher But not till the “meet” would occur Was the request for money given Geez… What nonsense will find me next?! The saddening part is the … Continue reading Another Dead-end

Vacation

I am too cluttered My desk is so messy Far too much to do always Some work stress involved I’d like an easier life Pare down, move away? – Sigh… But I’ve been spending even more I’ve begun my foray into fine dining I know I’ll stop when my group disbands It’s slated for January with the planned leaving of the organizer  I feel a bit of a fraud going I’m not truly a full fledged foodie like the rest I started going to meet people and try new places Now I’m good friends with the host As I have … Continue reading Vacation

My Phone, My Teddy

I’ve taken to sleeping with my phone. Not every night, but enough. It is my adult teddy bear. It’s my radio and creative notes taker among other things. I have a queen size bed half empty, so I got the space to treat it royally. It gets its own pillow too! I forcibly weaned myself from sleeping with my teddy bear five or so years ago. (I won’t tell you my age. You may speculate if inclined.;-)) It was the mature thing to do. But really, it shouldn’t have mattered if I continued in that vein. There is nothing wrong … Continue reading My Phone, My Teddy

Short Term Friends

Short term friends You won’t stomp on my heart again I know the drill I won’t even dare to think to change your mind How many “friends” will up and leave Never to be heard from again For the amount I’m ignored It’s easy to think you don’t exist And the past never even happened; I’m just crazy and conjured up a story Or rather stories with you as the star I can’t write a real story because I get stuck How can I give a happy ending  When I can’t get it right in life And I wouldn’t want … Continue reading Short Term Friends