Wayside

I won’t ask you to choose; I step aside
How deep does the friendship even go?
I don’t trust anyone to stay or take my side
My heart is a ghost town no longer capable of love
My mantra: Out of sight out of mind
I am unbearably needy and insecure
I only know how to be alone 
Why ever get close?
But I forget myself, I slip up and do
Then I bang my head in horror 
And I have to back away
This relentless back and forth tears me up inside
No one can give me what I need
The unlimited attention and affection that I crave 
Why am I like this?
You tell me to tell you these things, when I’m upset
I remain silent for I don’t think I have a right to trouble you
I am irrational, testy, jealous…unhappy
That is my cross to bear, not yours
You’ve proven yourself a good friend
But now things are different
She is in the picture and I don’t like it
For all I know it’s just short term, but who knows?
You said a lot of things about it
Even that you didn’t even really like her
Keep saying whatever you want
I take it with a grain of salt by the spoonful
You suspected an issue might occur
Said you didn’t want to have to choose
Well, I’m going to make it easy for you
I simply step aside to the wayside
Somehow I always find myself there…

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