Ongoing State

I have been conditioned to feel unwanted
My insecurities from long ago hold fast
I retreat into myself and mark myself a loner
Apart from close friends company joy is erased
I’ve accepted my lonely state
I cannot foresee a shift from permanent status quo
No longer sad exactly just emotionless blasé
It could be worse I realize:
The harrowing rejection felt after invested and tricked
I understand others couple up, others are wooed and happy
This is not for me; my path is different
A plethora of activities seeking meaning
My confounded journey continues…

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