Doldrums

Sitting alone in my dark bedroom
Light from the hallway filters in from the ajar door
I can hear animated conversation
The others in the house are enjoying themselves
I am in a weird state
I’m twirling the curl at the end of my ponytail
It’s rather warm but I relish the quiet sans the AC
I can hear the wind outside my window
The movement of leaves and passing cars
I see the silhouettes of the objects in my room
A different mood from the unlit nightlight
What is the meaning of my life, these possessions?
I have a mental blockade
I feel my mind knows the answer but won’t reveal it to me yet
What is the meaning of the past?
What fate am I unknowingly building?
I suffer on the weekends
Too much time to ruminate
My time wastes away
During the week I am productive
I work and have my varied evening activities
I see friends, colleagues, classmates, teachers, strangers
On the weekends I see my family if anyone at all
Sometimes I stay in my room and shut them out
I need to get out of this house!
It and the family just sucks me in
I haven’t booked my trip yet
I’ve just felt so lethargic…
I need something to lift me out of my doldrums 
Universe, help me out!

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